Hefty Musings

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While my first week of work was really awesome-overall. I had kind of an emotional evening Wednesday.

What I consider my "normal weight"- personal photo.

First a little background. When P and I first started dating I was at a very healthy weight. Not super skinny, but not over weight. Shortly thereafter I started law school. In my first year of school I gained 30lbs. Yes. 30.

Me and P- at my heaviest.

So, I hadn't weighed myself since about May. I figured I had gained maybe 5 lbs over the past few months.Wednesday night I decided to break out the scale. I had prepared myself for a weight gain. I got on the scale. Looked down. And what do I see- +12 lbs. I was crushed. Absolutely crushed. I couldn't believe it. I mean, I'm between sizes as it is, if I had gained that much certainly I would have gone up a size. I spent the rest of the night just stewing. Feeling awful.

The next morning I got up and decided to weigh again. Just out of curiosity. Now I know that most people are often lighter in the morning than they are before they go to bed. Maybe by a pound or two. But when I got on the scale I had lost 5 lbs since the night before.

I went to work feeling better- but totally confused. Not much later that day I got an explanation. I won't go into detail, but let's just say that I picked the wrong week to weigh myself.

Hopefully next week will be kinder. I've kept this weight on for too long. I am hoping to lose 10lbs before I go dress shopping in November. And to lose the other 20 before the wedding next year. I just don't want to lose it too quickly- and then gain it all back. I'm trying to focus on forming good habits that will stick with me long term.

Just being back to work has already helped. It's easier for me to diet when I'm on a daily schedule. If you have any good resources you'd like to share with me- please do!

~BEM